Today marks 2 years. 2 years since I was able to hold you. 2 years of no Charlotte hugs, kisses, or cuddles. 2 years of missing your precious voice.
Two years ago today, my sweet precious baby girl took her last breath. We knew her time to go was soon, but we did not expect it to happen that day, June 14th 2018. If only I knew. We still had so much to do together. So many things to talk about. So many experiences, missed.
Sweet Charlotte went through more than many adults do in their lifetime. She was such a joyous, thoughtful loving little girl. We speak of her often. We all love watching videos of her and seeing her pictures.
Hadley, who is 3 now, will tell me she misses Charlotte. I know she was too young to truly remember her, but I believe she “knows” her through the memories. Charlotte LOVED her baby (even though she wanted a boy) I often times see Charlotte in Hadley. Their voices are similar and boy does she have a hard head like Charlotte did! She loves her cuddle time with me, and so did Charlotte.
Eleanor will be 6 in July. She will begin 1st grade in August. She has taken on a role of the big sister very valiantly. She misses Charlotte. She speaks of her often and is always quick to mention her big sister is in heaven and is 8 to the people she meets. Eleanor has the same love for music and dancing that Charlotte did. She can carry a tune much further though, haha. She asks more questions now and we talk about the whole experience more often. She prays to God at night and asks Him to hug Charlotte and tell her we miss her.
Time passed has not made things easier. Waves of sadness, take over at unexpected times. 2 years seems like a long time, but other days it’s as if it were only yesterday. Sometimes I fear I have forgotten her voice or laugh. I miss her sweet hugs. I talk about her often, and although at times it’s hard, she is always remembered. She is always in my heart and a piece of me. She is my first born, the baby that made me a mommy, I will forever cherish that.
A friend reminded me of Psalm 84:10. “Better is one day in your court than a thousand elsewhere” this rings so true. I do not wish Charlotte to still be here. She suffered so much. I look forward to the day we are reunited in His court. She is in the ULTIMATE place! The PERFECT place.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. We feel them. Thank you for continued support, messages, phone calls, and conversations. Thank you!
Charlotte Grace you are forever remembered!